Tubthumping Parody Lyrics

One night I felt inspired to write these parody lyrics, in no small part because I had much more important things to do and was up much too late.

*Original*	Parody
copyright Chumbawamba	(bold blue indicates parody lines; thin blue indicates repeated parody lines)
Tubthumping¹	Tubgulping, or 527 Groupies¹
We’ll be singing When we’re winning We’ll be singing	We’ll be sipping Creamy whipping We’ll be sipping
I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down	I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never gonna Keep me down I get knocked down Another heart attack But you’re never gonna Hold me back I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never gonna Keep me down I get knocked down I need an ambulance Paramedics know me All through town
Pissing the night away² Pissing the night away	Add some more flavoring² More berry flavoring
He drinks a whisky drink He drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink	She drinks a coffee drink She drinks a mocha drink She drinks a double leaded thunder with a Splenda* drink
He sings the songs that Remind him of the good times He sings the songs that Remind him of the better times	And she laughs to Forget her younger skinny days Laughs even harder to Forget her string bikini days
Oh Danny boy³ Danny boy Danny boy	More sprinkles please⁴ Sprinkles please Pile them on
I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down	I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never gonna Keep me down Add en-er-gy⁵ And then you stir it in That’s how I never let you⁶ Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never gonna Keep me down Can’t dis-si-pate I'm on dialysis But you’re never gonna Amputate⁷
Pissing the night away Pissing the night away	Add some more chocolate swirls⁸ And some more caramel swirls
He drinks a whisky drink He drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink	He drinks a blended drink He drinks an iced drink He drinks a put-another-fifty-on-my-card⁹ drink
He sings the songs that Remind him of the good times He sings the songs that Remind him of the better times	And he laughs to Forget about his healthy days Laughs even harder to Forget about athletic days
Don’t cry for me Next door neighbor⁴	Don’t cry for me Italy¹⁰
I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never going to Keep me down^{5 6}	I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never gonna Keep me down I get knocked down Another heart attack But you’re never gonna Hold me back I get knocked down But I get up again You’re never gonna Keep me down Just one more toss And another thing Don’t ever leave the Whip cream off
(trumpet)	(trumpet)
(singing in a round) I get knocked down etc. We’ll be singing etc. Then add: Pissing the night away Then add: trumpet	(singing in a round) I get knocked down etc. We’ll be sipping etc. Then add: Add some more flavoring etc. Then add: trumpet
(fade out)	(fade out)

¹ "Tubthumping" is political campaigning. Literally, standing on an overturned tub (I'm guessing an old-fashioned wooden one common when the term came into use, not a modern metal one), and stomping or banging on it to get attention. Compare to American "stumping". The joke here is that political campaigning in general is being compared to the crude, brutish behavior portrayed in the lyrics. While the lyrics say nothing about politics, the title "Tubthumping" compares political campaigning to the crude behavior portrayed in the lyrics.	¹ "527 Groups" are American tax-exempt organizations best known for creating political attack ads that make unsubstantiated or even fraudulent claims, which the opponent of the ad's victim can benefit from while disavowing any responsibility. Groupies are fans of a band who like the band so much that they follow it around as it tours. So, 527 groupies are enthusiastic consumers of political propaganda. While the lyrics say nothing about politics, the title "527 Groupies" compares enthusiastic consumers of political propaganda to the subjects of the lyrics.
² Spending an evening drinking excessively, probably in a pub. The joke here is in the irony of singing beautifully about drunkenness, as the song's subject considers drinking to excess to be a really desirable way to spend an evening out.	² Sugary artificial flavorings.
³ A reference to "Danny Boy", a patriotic song possibly about military sacrifice, often sung in a spirit of deeply heartfelt nationalism. Also sung at funerals, especially of members of the military. The joke here is that this is the song that reminds the song's subject of the best times of his life, not of times of heart-breaking sacrifice.
⁴ A reference to "Don't cry for me, Argentina", a song about Evita. Since the singer's UK pronunciation of "neighbor" sounds close to "nay-buh", it rhymes with Argentina better than it would if sung by an American. The joke here is that, while an entire nation was saddened by Evita's self-inflicted misfortune, who is saddened by the self-inflicted misfortune of the subject of this song? Only the next door neighbor, and the subject may only be imagining that the neighbor cares.	⁴ Tiny bits of chocolate, sprinkled on top of the whipped cream.
⁵ The frequent repetition of this refrain, combined with the very aggressive, masculine way it is shouted, suggests that the song's subject deliberately gets into frequent altercations and is proud of resiliently surviving them.	⁵ "Energy" is a powder, claimed to be highly nutritional and thus providing a big boost to personal energy, which the large espresso-drink corporation sells and the customer can have added to the drink at extra cost. Compare to the 19th-Century peddling of "snake oil".
⁶The song's lyrics are generally suggestive of one who loves nothing more than an evening of drunken brawling alternating with emotional nationalism.	⁶ So, the ability to recover from the heart attacks etc. does not come from personal resilience or the wonders of modern medical science, but from the Energy powder!
	⁷ Obesity, brought on in this song's subject by excessive drinking of fatty espresso drinks, can cause Diabetes, which reduces the kidneys' ability to filter out toxins to be expelled (disappated). Treatment for Diabetes can include being put on dialysis. If left untreated long enough, the legs of a Diabetes sufferer may need to be amputated (because that's where the toxins then collect and do their damage??).
	⁸ Syrup, swirled on top of the whipped cream.
	⁹ That is, his large-espresso-drink-corporation card, used to pay for drinks more conveniently than other payment methods. It works like a gift card. It's running low, so he's adding $50 to it.
	¹⁰ A member of the culture that created espresso would not be envious at what it has become in America. Where the equivalent line in Tubthumping makes a joke of changing a large national reference into a small personal one, this line makes it large and national again. Although Italy doesn't rhyme at all with Argentina, it does rhyme with "me" in the previous line.
The song's overall joke is that by titling the song "Tubthumping", political campaigning is being compared to drunken brawling combined with a very low, unthinking type of nationalism.	So, the overall joke is that the enthusiastic consumption of political propaganda suggested by the title "527 Groupies" is being compared to relentless self-destruction through gluttonous drinking of extremely fatty espresso drinks.
	^*Leaded = Caffeinated, i.e. not decaf. Thunder = Short for "thunder thighs", understood by American baristas to mean whole (not low-fat) milk. Splenda = artificial sweetener in a small paper packet.
	Naughty alternative lines to "Pissing the night away": I need a longer boy To get through my mound of joy

Comments are welcome. You can heap abuse on me -- I mean, reach me -- at greglove@oz.net.

Parody Lyrics for Tubthumping by Chumbawamba